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Before making a single edit, Tropedia EXPECTS our site policy and manual of style to be followed.She just started her new blog Eloquent Parent on Facebook, and hope for grander things to come, so she can finally put those Honors English classes from two decades ago to good use, instead of repeatedly enunciating lunch specials at her current place of employment. This whole, succumbing to blow job bribery to relieve some of your work load by taking on his load, just so the kids have milk in their Lucky Charms.Įspecially since we already know what’s expected in return if WE are the ones going to the store.Ībout the author: Chalise Kestner is a middle aged unconventional parent who drinks and spews profanity excessively, yet manages to keep it all in balance eloquently. In hindsight, this might sound a bit crazy to some. Like when I washed the sheets that morning, or actually took time to straighten and style my hair, or I have to be somewhere in 8 minutes and I don’t have time to deal with that after sex semen spunk dripping down my leg. The BJ card is also nice to fall back on in place of just sex. Luckily for both of us, the only permanent damage was on his truck’s front bumper.)
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By the end of that diversion, I was googling how to relieve symptoms of TMJ. It was the afternoon I took my husband’s new truck out and it accidentally grazed another vehicle. (I must admit, however, this backfired on me once. Like, when my youngest spills nail polish on her bedroom carpet, or my oldest doesn’t clean out the litter box after 27 reminders. I apply the BJ card as a distraction technique, usually when the culprits involve my children and I ultimately have to save their precious little asses over nonsense. I’ve gotten out of attending a few in-law birthday parties, some chauffeuring gigs involving a bunch of giddy teenage girls, and those dreaded conversations with customer service cable representatives. I’ve utilized my BJ card to evade people. Because guaranteed they were doing the exact same shit. Like even for a few measly dollars, just so I could get money to have a few extra glasses of wine with my girlfriends that evening. Yes, gasp, I’ve even traded my BJ card for money. Usually that something involves chores, (a.k.a ‘chore play’), having to get dressed to run errands in inclement weather, or paying my Target charge. I play the BJ card for when I want to get out of something. We pull it out (ahem, or should I say make him pull it out) for the most logical reasons. It is safe to assume we all have done it at some point. I hear him drive off, the tires squealing in delight. Reply – “So, can you go get it? I’m kind of busy here…” I don’t want to risk keying any of our vehicles with my nipples. Where is your dad? Oh, he’s outside shoveling our driveway. I’m content in my blanket, curled up with my German Shepherd, completely engrossed in this Law & Order SVU marathon.įuck. If the temperature outside is below my current age, I am definitely braless, in pajamas, with no intentions of venturing anywhere.